Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
