Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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