just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
