Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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