Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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