I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe isn't a time...
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...