dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
