Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason