having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders