hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
And then my night got REAL pukey
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
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