My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.