Texts From Last Night

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  (616): View more from Michigan

  Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband

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  (616): Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband http://tfl.nu/lbgd
  Replies (20) Good night (6009) Bad night (791)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.

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  (703): Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock. http://tfl.nu/z9t5
  Replies (18) Good night (4148) Bad night (579)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.

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  (202): We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible. http://tfl.nu/l361
  Replies (19) Good night (5154) Bad night (558)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave

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  (203): so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave http://tfl.nu/bg5d
  Replies (11) Good night (5337) Bad night (612)
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  (705): View more from Ontario

  her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken

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  (705): her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken http://tfl.nu/6ixh
  Replies (13) Good night (945) Bad night (3783)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.

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  (708): I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look. http://tfl.nu/k5sb
  Replies (15) Good night (4690) Bad night (826)
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  (310): View more from California

  what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?

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  (310): what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car? http://tfl.nu/714f
  Replies (7) Good night (922) Bad night (2477)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.

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  (813): Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point. http://tfl.nu/ezlw
  Replies (14) Good night (2467) Bad night (1096)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow

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  (908): We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow http://tfl.nu/g44q
  Replies (2) Good night (1462) Bad night (767)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.

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  (954): his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here. http://tfl.nu/eop3
  Replies (3) Good night (1021) Bad night (1455)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.

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  (609): I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds. http://tfl.nu/dlpp
  Replies (5) Good night (1413) Bad night (951)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all

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  (412): I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all http://tfl.nu/skme
  Replies (6) Good night (787) Bad night (1612)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.

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  (405): I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society. http://tfl.nu/cbw1
  Replies (19) Good night (790) Bad night (1217)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.

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  (513): Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs. http://tfl.nu/km54
  Replies (1) Good night (960) Bad night (362)
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  (231): View more from Michigan

  Is this a drinking picnic?

  (701): View more from North Dakota

  Is there another kind?

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  (231): Is this a drinking picnic? (701): Is there another kind? http://tfl.nu/hhhs
  Replies (3) Good night (981) Bad night (312)

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