SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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