he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize
