Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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