just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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