Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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