and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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