Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
