I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
She bit a glass in half.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
