there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
