so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
