FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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