Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
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