he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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