Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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