Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
