she looked like the bat from fern gully.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
