So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
