watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
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