I must be too annoying 4 u.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
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