Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
