He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Randomize
