Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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