You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize