Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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