So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
