It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
