so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
