you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
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