when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize