she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
