You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
