so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
