i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
