I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
