Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
