Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Randomize
