Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
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You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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