Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
