Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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