I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
17 year olds will be the death of me.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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