I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
