woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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