Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
