She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I've blown a few things in my day
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
i came on her dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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