Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
how does that bad decision feel?
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
