Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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