is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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