I'm going to jail i love you
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
