yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
