I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
did i just pee glitter
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize
