oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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