It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
