Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
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Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
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