I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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