I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
