If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize