I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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